Be Strong For Yourself

Good and bad things happen in our lives on a daily basis. Some things we have control over, but a lot of them we don’t. I have many dreams and aspirations. Pursuing them can be one of the scariest things a person can do, and it’s so easy to get discouraged. Feelings of self doubt can creep in and before you know it, you’ve given up. Am I really good enough? What if I’m in over my head? Maybe you feel you’re not getting the support you need, or the support you thought you had really wasn’t support at all. It happens. Life happens. This is why you have to be strong for yourself.

I’ve never been one to care much about what others think of me. It was my sophomore year in high school when I gained this confidence, and my junior year when I truly lived it. My husband and I try our best to instill this in our kids. I know it’s not easy for everyone to be this way, but at the end of the day if you spend your time trying to please people who aren’t even worth pleasing, or caring about what others think about you, you’ll never be happy. You’ll never reach your goals and you’ll never move forward in life.

There have been some things that have transpired recently in my life that gave me a much needed reality check about how fickle and fake people can be. Instead of dealing with you as an adult they either choose to deal with you in a passive aggressive way or not at all, hoping you catch the hint. What can you do or say to that? Nothing. You go on with your life and you let them go on with theirs. Be strong for yourself. Not everyone who acts like they are your friend or supporter are. When these things happen you can’t let it get you down. You can’t waste time wondering what you did or said to offend them or why it is they feel the need to have such a Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde attitude towards you. That’s no longer your concern, especially if no explanation was given.

Stay focused on your goals. Stay focused on your dreams and pursue them with everything you have. Surround yourself with those who love you and will encourage you, not bring you down or laugh at your dreams. I’ve found that when you’re good at something and you tell your friends or family that you want to pursue it as a career, you quickly find out who really supports and believes in you and who don’t. I love to bake, and my dream is to have my own little cookie shop. Years ago I had a friend tell me that one of my cookies could do without a certain ingredient, otherwise they won’t sell. Then she went on to tell me that I charged too much for my cookies when in reality I was undercharging. Mind you the cookie in question are my best selling cookie to date. It’s my signature cookie that I’m known for, and she tells me that I need to omit an ingredient so they’ll taste better and sell! Over time she’d continue to make little comments about my cookies and it hurt, and then that hurt quickly turned into anger because she knew about my dream and my goal of having my own cookie shop. I thought she’d be supportive not negative, especially since she was one of the main ones eating my FREE cookies every chance she got!

Over the years there were many more like her. Those who’d say “Oh I could bake those myself and they’d taste just as good.” That one always make me chuckle. These kind of comments are coming from people I’ve known for years and considered to be good friends. I’ve found that some people are your “good friend” until you try to pursue your dreams. It’s a sad but very real reality, and this is why I say be strong for yourself. There will always be nay-sayers in life. There will always be doubters, haters – people who wish they had the courage to pursue their dream but for whatever reasons didn’t. Instead they’d sit back and tell you what you can’t or shouldn’t do.

Sometimes these people are your loved ones, your friends – the very people whose opinion mean most to you. Sometimes they don’t even know they’re being negative. They may mean well and think they’re giving you constructive criticism, but it’s not. When this happens you must be strong for yourself and encourage yourself. Don’t let other people’s seeds of negativity and doubt take root in your mind or subconscious. Show them with your actions and success, that they are wrong. Dead wrong.

The older I get the more I appreciate my inner strength. I recognize and appreciate the power of my words.  I realize how precious my time is and how I don’t have time to waste. I don’t have time to waste on people who aren’t worth it. I don’t have time to waste wondering why certain people are the way they are. It’s a big world out there, and I’m finding as a new blogger that the blogging community is huge. There are some aspects of it that are really nice, the encouragement you receive and the friendships that you develop with others who share your passions. There are other aspects to blogging that feel very clique-ish, but it is what it is. I know my purpose. I know why I’m here. I’m here because finally my time has come. I’m here to pursue one of my many dreams. I’m here to inspire and to be inspired.  I have thoughts, I have stories, I have opinions – and I will share them as I see fit. I’m being strong for me.


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