Unappreciated

There is nothing worse than feeling unappreciated, especially by a family member. Nothing says self-centered, selfish, don’t care than doing something for a loved one without a thank you or any type of acknowledgement in return. I’m not the type to throw back what I’ve done for you in your face. I don’t lord it over you, brag to others what I’ve done for you, or expect anything in return from you other than a simple thank you. That’s it. Thank you. Hearing those two words go such a long way! Unfortunately, I’ve been slapped in the face by several family members enough times to last a life time.

Family get taken advantage of and are left feeling unappreciated the most because of the fact that you’re family. We all have family members that feel entitled, who feel you’re supposed to do for them for one reason or another: You make more money, you don’t have any kids or a husband, or you’ve bailed them out in the past so you should do it again. Grown able bodied people will not continue to mooch off of me or take my kindness for weakness. I will not keep listening to the same sob stories which always include blaming everyone but themselves for the pitiful plight that they are in.  I am the mother to four children. I deal with their self importance enough with more years of it to come. I will not accept it from grown siblings or other grown family members.

Recently I tried to help a sibling and never received a thank you, boo, nothing. It was the ultimate “F-you” in my eyes. Part of me want to snap on this person and the other person who initiated it, but the other part of me doesn’t feel like wasting the energy or time because I know it will change nothing. I have to let it go and chalk it up to another lesson learned. I was caught slippin, but it won’t happen again.

When Family…

Drive you crazy, what do you do? There are many variables and levels of crazy with my family, but I always thought that the older we got, the better things would get. WRONG. The older we’ve gotten, the worse our issues have become.

I’m not in a position where I have the energy or time to make other family member’s issues my own. I just can’t. And I won’t. Not when I have four kids of my own and a sickly husband. Not when I have issues of my own that need my attention. Some may call me selfish, uncaring, or hardhearted, and they couldn’t be more wrong. I just know when to step back and let grown people handle their own business.

Some people in my family have such deep issues that only a psychiatrist can help them, but not everyone is open to seeking such therapy, and if they do they don’t keep up with regular visits. In the end, we all have our own issues that we are still trying to deal with in our 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. I have my own issues that I’ve been trying to deal with on my own since childhood. I love my family and I will always help where I can. But the level of dysfunction in my family is too deep for me to get too close. For my own mental health, I must love my family at a distance.